Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Ever since she dissapeared in my life, i felt that emptiness again.
The same emptiness that ive experienced once before.
thinking back on my actions, i knew i had been cruel and harsh.
I was the one who shoved her off and never gave her the attention and love and care.
i thought im the victim but actually she was the one who was victimised.
traumatised by what ive done, i understood now why she did what she did.
even though to some people it may be shocking, please understand that it was her last resort.
i understood that.
i completely shut off myself to her and hurt her a lot.
i know that there is a lot of difference between us.
i dont care.
all i know is that she had been attentive, caring and loving to me.
but why i treated her bad? i dont know.
maybe im just too stressed with many things.
school.family.money.her.
maybe i cant handle pressure.
maybe.
but i cant be selfish.
she never was selfish to me.
never before she had put down or condemn my interest.
toys.gadgets.music.fun.entertainment.live band.shows.gigs.
but all i ever did to her was to discourage hers.
im ashamed of myself.
and because of me she nearly became haywire.
Never will i leave in times of darkness
Understand you i shall be
Return the love that u had showeth
Hatred for you, i will not see
Unbreak the heart that i have shattered
Dripping wounds i shall heal
As this man have not yet surrendered, to love to care and to feel...
k go
Written in Black n White,
n my watch says 5:02 AM
